You Can Take the Man Out of the Forest
by Terez
Summary: One-shot series. Ch 1. Regina tries to surprise Robin. Ch 2. Robin struggles with sleeping in a bed. Ch 3. Regina's kitchen suffers after a fishing trip. Ch 4. Henry learns of Robin's unusual diet. Ch 5. Robin teaches Regina to dance.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time is the property of ABC**

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**Morning Shower**

Regina awakes to the sound of running water, forced to fight against the early morning sun as it begins to peek through the curtains. Eyes still shut, her hand dances across the silk sheets finding nothing more than a fading warmth. Groaning in disappointment (though unsurprised as Robin rises with the sun) Regina cracks an eye with a slight scowl. Sitting up, the soured look is quickly replaced with a feral smile as an idea takes shape. Delicately slipping from the bed her eyes shift towards the master bathroom while her fingers move down the button of the sleep shirt, letting the garment fall open and drop to the floor. Steps more determined, her thumbs hook into the waist band of her pants pushing everything neatly off her hips, stepping out as it all pools at her feet.

Her stride never changes or falters, while her grin only grows, and in a puff of smoke, she's gone.

Air rushes quickly from her lungs in shock as she reappears in the shower, unexpectedly dosed in a cool spray. Instinctively stumbling away from the frigid water, her back slams against the wall. Robin calls out to her in confusion, wrapping his hand around her wrist and pulling her forward, trying to keep her steady. Unfortunately, he ends up pulling her back under the spray as well.

"Regina?" Robin calls again, now sounding equal parts confused and concerned.

Regina cringes in discomfort at the water, far too distracted to form a response. In her opinion showers should be blisteringly hot, suffocatingly so, the chilled water Robin has chosen instead, burns in a very unpleasant way by comparison. Once steady on her feet she manages to slip from Robin's grasp before awkwardly stumbling from the shower.

"Regina-"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Regina whirls back around to face him, partially wet and teeth chattering.

"I beg your pardon?" He questions, head cocked in confusion as he leans out the shower. "You're the one-"

"Who bathes in cold water?" Regina snaps, cutting him off, her face twisted in annoyance.

He blinks in surprise for a moment before a slow grin stretches across his face, "rivers aren't exactly heated." He drawls, looking amused.

Regina can't help but scowl in return, left with nothing to say, she knows he's still adapting to a more modern world and some habits will never break. Waving her hand with a flourish instead, she fights to hold the bitter look, instantly dry and robe wrapped around her. Robin chuckles in response, undeterred by her glare he leans across the space, stealing a kiss.

She instantly smiles in response, unable to hold her sour mood, shivering slightly when his chilled fingers brush across her cheek. The victorious grin he gives her after has her rolling her eyes as she shakes head, turning to walk away without a word. Robin watches her go, his lighter reverberating though the bathroom, well aware of the smile she's fighting to control.

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**A/N: This may or may not become a little series, I really only have on more fic idea to add on to this. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Because you all requested it. Set after their first time having sex.**

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**Rocks for Pillows**

Regina can't help but clench her teeth as Robin shifts beside her in the bed, her good mood quickly evaporating. He sighs, rolls, huffs and puffs before settling down, body still for only a few seconds before the process repeats itself. The bed moans, groans, squeaks, jostling her with every move he makes.

She holds her breath when he settles down again, hoping he's finally found a comfortable position before the tension rolls down her shoulders when he moves, again.

"Robin!" She snaps through gritted teeth, post ogasmic bliss gone.

"Sorry," he breathes out, voice slightly clipped in irritation as he sits up, throwing the covers off.

Regina sits up in a panic, her voice caught in her throat and her stomach bottoms out when Robin begins to pull on his pants. Tears threaten to fall as she struggles to breath, unable to voice the questions that race through her head, terrified of the answers she's likely to receive. Time seems to stop as he stands, doing up the zipper and button, then runs his hand through his hair in frustration. Confusion quickly replaces the heartbreak though when he grabs the pillow from the bed dropping it to the floor in front of the nightstand.

Twisting back around, he reaches for the extra blanket half hanging off the end of the bed. "Do you mi-" he starts to ask, turning to look at her, stopped short at her red eyes and rigid figure. "What's wrong?"

"What are you doing?" She asks, voice thick with emotion.

"Sleeping on the floor." He responds carefully, unaware of what has set her off.

She actually laughs a little in relief, finally able to breath as the unshed tears start to fall. "Regina?" He calls to her, moving up onto the bed to cup her face, his eyes full of worry.

"I thought you were leaving," she breaths, relaxing into his touch.

He smiles sadly, pressing his lips to hers and pulling her tight, "You have me Regina, fully." He promises, pleased when she smiles, though uncertainty still lingers. He continues, trying desperately to lighten her mood. "The bed is simply trying to swallow me whole." He laughs softly, elated when she joins in. Kissing her once more Robin moves back off the bed, already feeling suffocated by the overwhelmingly soft mattress.

"I can't believe you're going to sleep on the floor," Regina laughs shaking her head as Robin pulls the extra blanket from the bed.

"I've spent years sleeping on the forest floor, using rocks for pillows, it can't be all that surprising."

"No," Regina grins fondly in agreement. "I suppose it's not."

"Good," Robin grins pressing his lips to hers. "Now go to sleep," he murmurs before stealing another kiss. Regina can't help but laugh again when he drops out of sight, sighing contentedly in his makeshift bed.

Shifting within the satin sheets Regina brings herself to what was once Robins side of the bed, sighing peacfully as she drops into the warmed space. The smells of the forest engulfing her.

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**A/N: This one was inspired by Captain America Winter Soldier, when Sam AKA talks about returning to civilization and having to sleep in normal beds after using rocks for pillows. If figured the same idea could be applied to Robin, given that he's spent years in a forest.**

**If you guys have any ideas about adjusting or maybe odd habits he's picked up that don't really fit with modern living let me know, I'd like to add on.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: because two of you requested something having to to with the kitchen/cooking and I was entertaining the idea of Robin butchering something, I figured this should be the next chapter.**

**For: LadyGalaxyJ and mamaXunicorn**

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**Outlaw Cooking**

The door swings open, clean fresh air replaced with a smell she can't identify, nose crinkled slightly.

"Ugh, what is that?" Henry gags, following her through the front door.

"I don't know." Regina responds cautiously, moving slowly through the house. Robin?"

"Kitchen," he replies brightly, though it does little ease her discomfort.

Her nose crinkles further the closer they get to the kitchen, mouth falling open and eyes widening at the large gutted fish on her counter top. Her once pristine kitchen is now left in shambles and Robin himself has hardly remained unscathed, blood embedded into hands. His head is bent low over his work, with Roland beside him on stool watching intently, neither notice her look of horror.

"What are you doing?" She finds herself asking, eyes moving from blows to bloody knives.

Robin looks up at her, confusion now etched on his face and blood smeared on his cheek."I told you I was going fishing," he says as if it were obvious he was going gut the thing in her kitchen.

"What's in the pot?" Henry asks moving towards the stove.

Regina's horror stricken gaze moves to her son and the boiling pot in question, while Robin grins excitedly. "We found a wild hen on the way home."

"Found?" Regina snaps, looking back at Robin, his smile slipping from his face. "Is that road kill in my pot?"

Robin sighs and shakes his head, "it's perfectly fine Regina."

"I think I'm going to eat at Emma's," Henry cringes, backing away from the stove.

"There's nothing wrong with it," Robin shouts in defense to the retreating boy as he darts from the kitchen.

"Good luck mom," Henry replies, patting his mother sympathetically as he passes.

Regina stands frozen in place, lips pressed in a tight line, unable to look away from the mess before her.

"What?" Robin responses clearly at loss, answered with only a shake of her head as Regina walks away.

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**A/N: Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wasn't planning for this to be the next one, but my muse was super excited for this one and I figured you guys would rather read two food related ones back to back than wait a couple more days for another update.**

**LadyGalaxyJ: eating habits**

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**Rabbit Stew**

"Mom," Henry whispers to his mother at the kitchen sink.

"Hmm?" Regina responds, rising off her dish.

"What is Robin eating?" Henry asks hesitantly, sparing a look at the man in question.

Regina glances back catching sight of the bowl, "it's the organs from the rabbit he caught the other day." She replies, unphased while Henry visibly cringes. "He made some sort of stew," she continues, finally noticing her son's disgust. "Henry don't do that," she reprimands lightly. "You might actually like it."

"It's organs mom!" Henry all but shouts, their conversation no longer private.

"It's really more of a texture than a flavor-"

"You've eaten them!"

"Yes," Regina can't help but laugh at his repulsed look "not often, but it was very common in the enchanted forest."

"Far more common among the poor," Robin speaks up as Regina turns to leave the kitchen when the doorbell sounds through out the house. "You're welcome to try some Henry," he offers with a friendly smile, amused by the boy's look of disgust.

"Uh...no, tha-." Henry responds slowly, eyes fixated on the bowl, jumping when Little John's voice bellows through the space.

"Is that rabbit stew?" He calls excitedly, while Roland darts past Henry and towards his father.

"You're not getting any," Robin replies protectively, wrapping his arm around the bowl, while Regina chuckles, trailing in last to the kitchen.

"Can I have some Papa?" Roland asks, pouting up at his father.

Robin heaves a playfully dramatic sigh, scooping his son up into his lap and hands him the spoon. "Oh so he gets some?" Little John speaks up, feigning hurt.

"Perks of being my offspring." Robin laughs while Henry can only watch in horror as Roland lifts the spoon, broth dripping from the silver and greedily slurps up the mysteries chunk floating in the middle.

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**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed!**

**I also want to thank everyone for suggestions, they have been a lot of first time related things and I want to be sure that everyone is going to be ok with that after the next chapter, because that might be the last odd habit I have left for Robin.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I feel like I should apologies for the last chapter, based on the lack of response I'm led to believe it wasn't what you all were hopping. I hope you guys like this chapter better and if not, review anyway, so I can improve. Your support truly means a lot an I appreciate every one of you that take the time to review.**

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It's a warm night full of mirth and excitement, what had started out as Robin wanting to visit with his Merry Men had turned to most of the town showing up and an impromptu full on celebration in the forest.

There is talk and laughter and unbridled joy. Excited energy that begins to shift as Robin's men start to clap their hands, voices rising above the clatter as they begin to sing.

Regina sits upon a log watching the display as the town is helpless to resist the song, dancing joyfully in the middle of the woods, reconnecting with old roots.

It's a life she knows nothing of.

"Come on," Robin grins eagerly ear from ear, letting Roland fly off his lap to join in on the fun. He slips off the log, hand outstretched to her, vibrating with the infectious happy energy.

Regina can't help but cringe and shake her head in response. The dance is unstructured, wild and carefree, no right or wrong step. It's nothing like the stiff ballroom dances she knows.

Robin rolls his eyes in return, snatching at her wrist, pulling her from the log despite her protests.

"Robin I-I-" she fumbles awkwardly as he spins her around letting her crash against his chest, holding her tight.

"Just relax," he grins, cutting off her retort with a kiss.

She melts instantly, butterflies replacing the knots in her stomach. "That isn't fair," she mumbles against his mouth, unable to stop the smile from stretching across her face.

Robin chuckles in response, sealing his lips to hers again he begins to sway, pulling her right along with him. He keeps them rooted for a moment, letting her find her rhythm, it's awkward and clumsy with Robin insisting she's simply over thinking. She finds the steps uncoordinated and chaotic while Robin is sure footed, confidant, as he begins to move from the spot, his smile contagious.

He has her singing and clapping along shortly after, her cheeks ache with the force of her smile. She is happy, elated, really as she spins around in the dirt, no place for a royal queen.

It's a life she knows nothing of, a world without gold thrones and stone castles, with a man who steals from the rich, all the more eager to share it.

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**A/N: reviews keep the muse happy and me, hope you all enjoyed!**


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